As a young 21 year old bachelor who made his own ways through life since getting kicked out of home at the age of 18, I realize I might be quite the stereotype for a young, energetic yet lazy bachelor. Take a look at this list and see if you’re like me :

10 Signs You’re a Lazy Bachelor

1. You see 3 or more empty cups at your desk or living room table. You can see the crusted material at the bottom. That one was milk, that one was coke, and this one was apple juice.
2. You do not have a single piece of fresh meat in your fridge. Actually, I don’t even have frozen meat. Unless you’re vegetarian, this signals bachelorism.
3. Your laundry basket serves as a closet, because you’re too lazy to fold the clothes and put them away. In the meantime, dirty clothes end up in the corner of your washroom or bedroom. When laundry time comes, you dump the rest of your clean clothes out of your basket onto your bed, gather the dirty clothes, and start your next load. And then the cycle re-starts.
4. Your dinnertime questions involve “Subway, Sushi, or the diner with the killer cheeseburgers?”, instead of “Should I cook pasta or stirfy tonight?”
5. A good female friend that invites you over for a home-made dinner becomes your new best friend. All the guyfriends are now rendered useless.
6. Home-made meals are a rarity for you. Even if your female friend or guyfriend’s mom makes you the simplest meal such as Mac & Cheese or a BLT, it qualifies as a “Good Homemade Dish”. You call your friend’s mother by the term “Mom” or “Ma” and they love you for it. Hey, you need surrogate mothers that will feed you like your real mother did without the nagging.
7. You know the names of waiters/waitresses of your favorite lunch/dinner places by name, and when you see them on the street you say hi. If you see them 3 times a week it’s a given to know them that well.
8. Towels are never folded. They lie crumpled, or hang on the back of your chair, or on the bedframe. The best way to tell from a dirty towel to a fresh towel is by how it smells, and how soggy it feels. But if a towel has laid in the corner of your room for 3 days or more and has dried out, you cannot tell the difference and it’s fair game as a fresh towel.
9. You use your washing machine just as often as, or more often than your dishwasher. You can avoid cooking if you eat out, but the washer needs to be used. Unless you’re rich enough to afford the drop-off-and-pick-up type of laundry places that do everything for you.
10. The litter basket in your room or home office has garbage twice as tall as the can itself. They somehow fit in. Look at the photo of my garbage. The potato chip bag wedged on top serves as more litter space, so this way I don’t have to empty it for another 3 days. I call it effective logistics. Others call me a lazy bachelor for it.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 22nd, 2007 at 10:36 am and is filed under Comedy, Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.