I usually don’t do the whole restaurant review thing - I just go there and enjoy my food with my friends or by myself, and I couldn’t be bothered to take my camera everywhere. So you probably won’t ever see me telling you about what restaurant was fabulous. But as marketers all understand, 1 bad experience will impact the business much more than series of positive influences, and I intend to exert that force to use.

I went to the Elbow Room which is on the corner of Davie st. and Seymour Street, on the South-side of Davie street. It’s a crumby looking diner with old decor from the 60s and such, and it has a very unique rustic friendly-looking atmosphere. But the goodness ends right there.

The moment I walked in, I saw these “Rules” on the wall. I’m sure this is intended to make the place interesting, but when they actually stick with the rules, that’s when the line is crossed.

Rule #1 : We only bring you your first cup of coffee. If you want somebody to bring you a second one, get a butler!

This rule made me chuckle, sort of. I don’t drink coffee anyhow. Whatever.

So up until this point, my impression was that this must be one of those low-cost restaurants that operate on a simple, partially-self-served basis, like a hybrid of a fast food place and a real restaurant.

My server, who was this raspy-sounding old woman, came up to me. I got the menu, took a look. The prices were NOT diner prices - some of the egg benedicts were $10 or more, which is more expensive than Milestone’s benedicts (which were under $10). This was actually pretty pricy compared to the shitty decor and the ugly staff they had, as well as faded and chipped chairs/tables they had. I was shocked, but since I sat down, I decided to try it anyways. I ordered the Karen Benedict, which had bacon, baby shrimp, and avocados on it. It was $10.00. She asked me if I wanted hashbrowns for an extra $1.00. I said no - for me it’s just wrong to be so cheap with sides. When she asked me if I wanted coffee, I said “no, just water please.”

My water doesn’t come. The server walks by 10 minutes later, and remarks “Oh you didn’t get your water yet!”, making obnoxiouisly clear that she’s telling me I need to get my own water. Then I realized, in the middle of the restaurant, they have a water machine. So I walked up, and grabbed a water, after waiting for another lady who was getting grumpy at the poor service as well.

Rule #2 : You want water? What do you mean, bottled or Perrier? Tap? Oh please. If WE bring you the water, there will be a small charge.

That came into my sight from the rule books. The whole point of going to a restaurant is to enjoy food without having to serve oneself. It’s the convenience that I go for, and that’s why I pay quadruple the cost of the food ingredients put in.

The benedict finally came. Literally, the benedict came, and nothing else. I figured they’ll put a toast or something on the side, but nothing. just a sorry-ass looking benedict, which looked more like a whipped-cream topped dessert because of how little hollandaise sauce they put on it. It was dry, and the bacon was overcooked. It was a pathetic benedict. I go to a lot of restaurants, and coming from me that’s a huge call.

The bill came to $10.60 with taxes. My credit card slip read $11.00 as the total. I can’t justify tipping any more than 40 cents when I had to grab my own water and then be served an incredibly expensive dish compared to what food was given.

The Elbow Room is a restaurant that I will label with poor service, poor presentation, bad food, expensivce prices, frugal ingredients, and nothing more. I suppose I should be glad they at least accepted credit cards.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 23rd, 2007 at 12:42 pm and is filed under General, Rants, Stupid People. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.